just when you think everything is in order... a new set of circumstances sets you on your ear

In November, my provider cut off my service for ten days and I saw to it that an outstanding bill got paid, and had it turned on as early as was possible.  

So you think, 'well, that's ok, then.'  Wrong, äääääää....

I 'thought' it was ok, because I could call out, so my connection was functioning, right?  It would stand to reason...

The thing is, I rarely make phone calls, and then in December, because I know a lot of people with December birfdays.  The first was on the 4th, dear Elke.  She was busy, I assumed partying, so I left a happy happy on her voice mail.  And was surprised when she didn't call me back when she got a minute.  

Odd, I thought...  And then on the fifteenth, I received a card from her thanking me for the call and saying she hadn't been able to reach me.  So I thought she had tried when I was temporarily cut off...  

And I'd talked to Peter and told him K wanted to drive me down to the home so I could visit...  except he never called either once he was back from the Czech republic, but figured he had a lot to do, it being advent after all....

Same thing happened with AM on the 21st...  Voice mail, left a message, no reply.  

On the 23rd, I was somewhat piqued.  So I called AM, and she gave me hell...  said I was unreachable.  And reached Dorle and Elke, and they gave me various degrees of hell  Turns out it became the 24th...  and as we all know, the whole fucking country shuts down for three days, and I finally realised that when they turned the service back on, I could call out----but no one could call in.  A glitsch.  

And this wouldn't have bothered me, I had reached who I wanted to speak to, after all, and said I'd clear it up.

Then came the horridays.  I wasn't able to reach the nursing home for three days....  they were probably understaffed and had their hands full.    It rang a while, and then the connection broke off.  So I wasn't able to reach Peter.

And then came the horror...  I got through yesterday early, and they said he wasn't awake yet.  He'd asked to sleep till ten, as he'd just come back from hospital and was exhausted.  The home had tried to reach me via email and telephone, but I hadn't been reachable.  Seemingly it was another heart episode, and hed been in the hospital in Graz for days and I'd had no idea.  I would have been there day and night for him, and he probably thought I just don't give a shit any more.  I was clueless.  

For all the times for everything to go horribly wrong, I wouldn't have even been able to conceive of a worse one.

I was off the charts for concerned and dismayed.  And the best thing?  I'd forgotten to inform the home of the email change, but thought, well, they'll call if something is wrong.  The ironic thing?  I sent the admin there a mail to what they are listed on in the phone book, explaining,,,,   and it bounced.  

Peter sounded weak, and didn't want to say what had been wrong, but assume it was his heart again.  Said there were 'listeners at the wall', meaning that the cleaning people were in his room.  I explained what had happened and apologised and assured him I'd have been there had I known.  

The problem is supposedly being corrected...  the company has to run a software programme that takes 24 hours to complete.  So they said.  

And with that...  well, I'm sort of FUCK Christmas and everything to do with it.  

for those with time on their hands over the horridays... YouTube

You can find a lot of fascinating things to while away time and avert the end of year tedium there.  I have a couple of recommendations.

I finished watching a delightful BBC mini-series this week called 'Last Tango in Halifax'.  Six parts at an hour each.  The grandchildren of two mid-seventy year olds put them onto facebook, they'd lost touch sixty years before.  And with tredipidation, they decide to meet, fall in love all over again and decide they want to marry.  As with all such things, the bbc had wonderful actors and actresses I'd never seen before, but brilliant.  And oh yeah, their children and grandchildren are emotional messes.  It was very enjoyable.

If you type in 'Shakespeare re-told' in the search box at youtube, you will find three BBC films that put classics into a modern setting.  I liked 'Much Ado About Nothing' most.  'The Taming of the Shrew' was funny, albeit rather heavy-handed, and Crash, my notebook, hasn't let me see all of 'Macbeth' yet, living up to his name.   The latter involves a chain restaurant war.  Oddly, it works.

For those of us who are oldies, and want to dip into nostalgia, the original version of  'The Fly' can be found.  In 1956 I was only seven, and not able to go to matinees alone yet, but very bitten by the movie bug.  I do remember one of the neighbors girls having seen it at a drive-in movie with her parents, and telling the tale with relish, and I was green with envy.  Sounded reeeeally creepy.  

So...  it being Advent and all, I thought it would be fun to see what I had missed.  My word.  It's all talk talk talk, and the main message is not to trust science, with Vincent Price covetinMg his brother's wife.  And boy, was he camp.  There were three special effects scenes (that I counted), and they were so lame...  children today would find them hilarious, am sure.  I bust out laughing every time. Oh my...    I was glad I never wasted thirty-five cents on seeing that, but suppose that at the time, it would have been creepy enough...  we were all naive back then.  I enjoyed that little trip back in time.  If they had the special effects capacity they do today back then, I probably would have messed myself.

Last but not least, I found something for Sondheim fans...  a rarity that I've looked for for over fifteen years.  It's called 'Passion', and has been hotly discussed any time there is a revival of it.  I hadn't even been able to find a cd of the score.  But there is a high quality version with the original cast on YouTube...  the entire production.

It's 'stayed' with me for weeks now.  Musically, it's so far from a musical in the usual sense, it sort of defies description.  I think of it as a symphony that is sung, and the movements have themes, but nothing one would call a song.  and I found the content disturbing.

In fact...   I wouldn't recommend anyone seeing it unless they were accompanied by an adult 55 years or older. Because I don't think people younger than that will understand it, and they will want to discuss.  It's about love, but a very dark aspect of love.  And left me mulling it over for days.

It takes place in Italy before the unification.  A very handsome young soldier is in-love with a very beautiful woman who is married and they are having an affair.  They feel that they can transcend anything and everything.  The soldier is assigned to an outpost, not defined.  His regiment is staying in the castle of a nobleman, whose cousin is very ill.  A mental nervous condition, and she is very plain of feature.  Her doctor advises him to speak with her and he does, becoming interested, .as they are similar in mind and temprament, and she falls passionately in love with him to the point of obsession.  

You would think that could only lead to tragedy, and it does...  but not in the way the viewer expects.  And in the end, he falls in love with her in a way that is desperate and complete.  There is a duel, he goes mad, she dies, but he'd found complete and perfect love.

Some of it is cruel.  Some of it goes right to the edge of what is bearable.  Donna Mills in the main role was incredibly good, with an alto voice as dangerous and seductive as a siren.  (the mythical one, not the alarm)  

I see it as a meditation of an ageing man whose previous work had been often tongue in cheek, cynical, and suddenly considering what some forms of love might be.  And I think most of his work regards considering different forms of love...  from Company to A Little Night Music, Sunday in the Park with George...  certainly Follies, and even Sweeney Todd in several senses.  Passion is sort of a culmination of his work, and is dark.

And it is disturbing.  It stays with you, makes you think.  And pose a lot of questions to oneself.  The production was beautiful, very sexy, and the lighting was wonderful...   especially when they consumate their relationship in a blinding white-hot light.  I think that it will one day be regarded more positively than it has been to date.  But it certainly isn't for everyone.  Who wants to see something that will make you think?   I found it entertaining all the same, if on another level.

And there is a lovely Lincoln Center production of  'A Little Night Music' to bee seen on YouTube from the 90's in good quality.  I didn't care for the staging, but it was a joy to see and listen to.  I'd never realised that the duchess dies...  happy ends all round, and she drops dead in her wheelchair at the very end.  Chilling.  But the music is wonderful, the humour is sarcastic, and it was very funny. And about love.

So...  those are my picks for the horriday season.  You might want to take a look at the one or the other.

Happy Horridays to anyone checking in...

The past weeks weren't exactly happy ones in the RenB household...  just same-old, same-old.  Some people don't find the season especially enjoyable.  On the contrary.

Especially the christmas card from your landlord wishing you all the joy of the season and include the new rate of your rent for the coming year, because, y'know, 'tis the season.  I always find that tasteless.

Have followed the US news, and that was depressing.  Although I did find that Susan Rice withdrawing her name from being nominated Sec/State was a good thing.  The politics behind it were reprehensible, but the truth is that woman frazzles my last nerve.  For someone who has had a career in 'diplomacy', she wasn't a good scholar.  Because any time I heard her in her real capacity as ambassador to the UN, I cringed.  Strident, agressive to the point of belligerency, and anything BUT diplomatic.  A mean sort of cowgirl, if you will.

I do not think her style would have been much appreciated in the rest of the world, in other words.  So you would have thunk that the Rethugs would have embraced her with open arms.  But they remain a conundrum.  Learning that she had a vast sum of money invested in the keystone pipeline was only confirmation for me that she wouldn't have been a good choice.

And all the blather about the fiscal cliff...  good grief, let them just jump off, it'll be better all round.  If the House has effectively blocked any legislation that would have helped improve the job market like investing in infrastructure, comprimising to fix it, how can anyone expect them to do anything now?  They are evil and so in denial it leaves one spitless.

As to the NRA wanting to ban video games and violence in Hollywood films...  well...  european kids play the same games and watch the same movies, but they don't go on rampages with AK47's....  because they can't get any.  They don't get guns that easily either.  I liked Ron Reagan Jr.'s idea best.  It should be like getting a driver's license...  you have to prove you know the laws, how it works and pass a test.  That's about as sensible a thing as I've heard in a long while.

I really don't see the joy in this season...  especially when the austerity programmes keep you limited to sticking to the necessities of life...  like having 'something' to eat in the house.

Yesterday was the big day in my part of the world.  The country that gave the world 'silent night' lives up to its' tradition.  By two pm it was virtually silent all around.  I listened to the classical radio station which brought an interesting two hours of Christmas music from the Middle East, some of it in Aramaic.  And assyrian.  Not weird if you think about it...  he did come from there, after all.  

And there was some Bach.  Which is always very nice.  Then I turned in.  Yesterday was for the immediate family.  Today is for the etended family.  Tomorrow is for friends, and maybe taking in a movie, or doing something fun together.  

And me?  Well, I tend to sleep through it.  We*re halfway through, and then we get to go back to hibernation for the end of year drunk spree...  because the year ends and a new one begins.  Will sit that one out as well, and say good riddance on Jan 2nd.

But for those of you surrounded by family and loved ones, I do hope that these days are enjoyable and without all the fucking stress of trying to be 'perfect'.  Most people seem to lose perspective.  

For Peter and I...  well, he loved doing the traditional things, and being pensive, and having all the beautiful decorations, and so on.  Sitting afternoons reading by the tree at twilight. And me attending to the cooking.  We always had freinds over for a formal dinner on the 26th.  And his mother's oldest friend over after the New Year to see the tree, which she loved.  We only exchanged small gifts, and normally gave big presents at other times during the year.  The reason being 'just because'.  I really liked that arrangement.

However you spend it, I wish you inner peace and quiet and enjoyment, in the way that is most meaningful to you.

The Village Sign most often stolen in Austria is...

Or so I've been told by someone who nicked one....  this has the added hilarity of adding 'Please slow down'.    I had forgotten it till I ran across it on-line this morning.

May it give you a horriday smile. And you can look it up on google if you don't believe there is such a place.

How DARE they?

It is beyond my comprehension that people like the one in the clip above can receive national attention spouting such hatred, or that anyone would even think to take them seriously.  This asshole is from the American Family Association...  whatever that is...    

Thoroughly disgusting.  Children died because the schools didn't '
embrace God'.  Reallah.  

And the crazies of Westboro Baptist Church are gonna picket the religious ceremonies, which is no surprise.

How very 'christian', especially during the horriday season, to want to guilt trip the parents and educators of innocent children. How tolerant, forcing their warped 'religion' on the grief-stricken.

Something is very wrong with US society.  It makes me sick to my stomach. 

Icy...

Haven't written much this past week...  too cold, was mostly staying warm.  When the temperature goes below 0 Celcius, my heating system can't handle it and it gets cold in my appartment.

So I tinkered with Crash, my pc, trying an impossible fix, and getting incensed when only minor improvements resulted from all the searches, and testing scans, and such like.  But two nights ago, there was a new vista update.  So after three weeks of banging my head on the keyboard, the new update seems to have corrected what was wrong...  which happened after the old update was installed.  Seems is the operative word here.

Unfortunately, I had removed my old version of the game I play, and wasn't able to re-install it for some odd reason, got the US version, and only get the entry mask...  and then it tells me it can't connect ot the authorisation server.  Go figure. And I'd had a priest up to level 36.  fuck, fuck, fuck.

I really missed that.  

I don't call 'em Microshit for nothing.

And this morning I read that windows 8 de-installs other programs on your pc at random. and is a mess.  

Typical.

With them, newer isn't necessarily better.

And caught up with the news, which was more or less upsetting and amazing.  Where the Rethugs are in charge, they are continuing busting unions and legislating against women's health, on the state level, while the ones on the national level are wringing their hands trying to figure out what they said that was wrong.  Wellllll...   if you dissed half the country, it might have been a problem, y'know?

While rummaging around I stumbled upon a wonderful cartoon which really sums up what the current republican party is about.  I smiled....  but it made me sad at the same time.  Those people are just heartless.

Sort of says it all, I guess.... Fits the horriday season.

Heinous

I slept through most of last night for a change.  Imagine my surprise when I went to the supermarket to get my food for the weekend, and saw the cover of our local rag.  With a foto of teachers briskly escorting munchkins away from the scene of yet another mass shooting in the US.  

Well, I quickly went home and turned on the internets...  and was fairly well ...  gobsmacked.  Killing kindergartners...  that's a new low even for the US.  

And, let's see, there was the mall shooting in Oregon just a week ago, and a heart-breaking interview with the parents of a young african-american kid who got shot dead because his radio was on too loud while he was at a gas station, and some mouf-breeder didn't like it...  what the hell is wrong with these people?  

Next we'll probably hear they got shot because they weren't coloring within the lines, for cripes sake.

The trouble is that they all have easy acess to guns.  As a kid, I remember seeing cowboy movies, and you always knew the guns had six bullets, so when there was a shoot-out, you'd count,knowing how many were left, you know?  It was part of the history and culture, and that's why they were called six shooters, right?    

Nowadays sociopathic freaks can arm themselves to the teeth with 32 bullet clips, re-load in seconds and create immense heart-break, destruction,  and havoc.  Using weaponry that was designed for war...  not hunting.  And wow, 40 percent don't even have to have back-up checks, they just buy them.  

Some people need to get a grip and start restricting unlimited access to weapons...  of any sort.

America has always been a violent country, but if I were living there and had children, I would seriously consider going elsewhere if only just for their safety.

The sad thing is, for the people who profit, they thinks it's collateral damage.  

I wonder when something will happen to make people stand up and say enough is enough.  And am not holding my breath.