Cry me a River;jey... Your#RE SORRY; AND THAT's it... Well you can shut your doors but reparations are 'WAY in order...

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I PURPSELY chose a clip that was 'Christian' and 'forgiving', because...  in the religion you were brought up in, that is what you are supposed to do.  Except:  I REALLY don't feel forgiving at all.

Look at that face..  'Who'd think it is the embodiement of pure evil and selfö-hate???`

Ok, let's back-pedal here, and explain...   TGhirty seven years ago, a group called EODUS was formed.  It was tho 'help peoplö. wo were gay become straiht.  /'Clears throat)...  People today in englightened lands woun't anderstand this at all.  But I was young at that time and very unhappy, because there weasn't media, or internet or anxyone to tell me there was nothing WORNG with me.  All I got form my sixthh year was a reamrk from a gredat Auint who was the queen of Rethug BITCHES to remar, 'Dick..  he runs like a GIRL.'  And from that moment, I thought something was WRONG with me.  

My father, God blsss him., never said a word to me...  EVAH.  If I was a bit odd, and not like other boys, he never said a word.  He's ninety-eight years old now, and we're cool...  but we don't talk about 'it'.  Even tho he met Peter, and tyhe most I got out of him was that he didn't think he was good enat eough for me.  That was a nice and loving thing to say, but he is of the last century, and was probably afraid for me because violence against my sort of person was common.  I'll never know if he ever worried about that.

So I grew up with a very negative self-image and thought for a long time I was the only person on the plantet who was 'bad' and would burn in Hell.  I sure had issure.

That was about the time that EXODUS came into being.  My Bio Mom told me when I was sixteen, first time I'd seen her after she had split and left us when I was five that if I'd discovered I were gay, I could come to her, and she'd fully understand, and THEN told me about the joys of anal sex.  

Now, if that wou't fuck your mind, what will, i ASK  you.....  

So imagine a world where you have now one to want to emulate, and you feel like a freak.

Exodus came in...  and told everyone iwhat you felt was learend behaviour, but they had the key, reparative therapy, and 'whoosh!' EVEN >YOU COULD BECOME A HETERO.

SO they had prgrames... presumably for a price...  and you could presto-changeo be a raging homophobic Republicunt.  Or somehing of the sort.

I was very lucky, because I never selfö-identified as being gay as the be-äall and end-all of my personality.  I thought, ''Ok, it's part of who you are, but yhu're lots of othing things too.'  And struggled with it alone till I was thirty, had an epihany, and said basically, 'well just FUCK you all...  I am who I am and I'm not vgong to be afraid any more.

Others in my generation weren't so lucky.  'They tapped into the trap that EXODUS set.  And  blamed themselves when they couldn't 'change' to the point of such dispair, many commited suicide, or submitted to experiments and shock therapy....   and many killed themselves.  

Thanks to the an absikzte sea.change in society, and the immense efforts of edumacation in the LGBT communitys, their sources of income have dried up, so yesterday, the head of this nefarious and evil group announced the end of their endeavours......

And the cureent head BASTARD apologised.....  for all the huurt inflicted and for those who took their lives, in a wasy that really roiled me, where I thought, 'Reallah?  YOU SICK FUCKS'.  

Younger people nowadays don#t understand the import of this news.  Especially here.  They grew up thinking everything is sorta normal, as long as it doesn't get in their way.  Case in point...  my friend K wasover in the winter scoping out my dvd's and piped up wiht Queer as Folk...  what's that about`? '  

said, 'oh, you won't like it, it's aboput gays, and and is fairly graphic.  The stations in the US had bomb threats when it was aired.  He wanted to borrow it, of I gave him the first season to look at, and he thought it was funny and interexsting.  I'd forgaooten Iive in Euerope.  

Tonight I was on the horn and told him about EXODUS and how they closed down, and he said, 'OH...  'See the LIGHT''...  there were two episodes about that in the first season.  So I said, 'Yes...  people killed themselves over it because they couldn't convert.'  Silence.

It had been portrayed humourously, but I hadn't had the heart to tell him what damae it had caused.

For those assholes to say, 'I'm sorry'     just doesn't cut it.  As a person of a certain age, I WANT RETRIBUTION.  Saing I'm sorry won't bring back the people they drove to suicide, and I am one who nearly went that route..  I want to see reparations... BIG ones.  Then...  I might accept their apology...  but unlike the lady reverend...   I can't find it in my heart to forgive the unforgiveable.